


Missing You

by ASimpleCherryTree



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Pandemic, Emails, M/M, Pandemic - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26206792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASimpleCherryTree/pseuds/ASimpleCherryTree
Summary: The ongoing pandemic leads to a resurgence of their emails.
Relationships: Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this AU they never actually met, but now they’re in college.

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 3.17.20  
Subject: Uh??? Everything?

Dear Blue,

I haven’t thought about these emails in a while. I’ll admit, I thought about you for a good bit of my senior year. It felt weird to know that you were among me, knowing everything about me, but I had no clue who knew my secrets. I knew that someone in my school knew about my itch for dresses.

Once I went on my college tour, I mostly stopped thinking about it. I moved away from Atlanta, moved away from you (I assume).

So how is everything? Besides, you know, everything. How is your family doing? Screw that, how are you doing? I’m going to assume that you are social distancing because you’ve always been the logical one, and even I’m social distancing. I’m not an absolute idiot.

Love, Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 3.17.20  
Subject: Re: Uh??? Everything?

This was the last thing I expected to see today. I opened up my phone to check on an assignment for school and saw your email. I’m kind of shocked? Needless to say, I am not currently doing the assignment.

Of course, I’m social distancing, my epidemiologist mother would likely disown me if I wasn’t. I think it’s really important to slow the spread of the disease, but not everyone can be as smart as us, Jacques. (By the way, it feels weird calling you Jacques. I’m going to keep doing it, just letting you know.)

I’m honestly not doing badly. A lot of my classes were pretty technology-heavy anyways, and I didn’t have much time for socializing before quarantine. I FaceTime my high school friends just as often as I did last week.

There is a possibility that you didn’t move away from me. I’m in New York now, I don’t know where you went, though. Should I know? Did you make a big deal out of it? Did I miss it?

Thanks for not hating me. If I had received this email under any other circumstances, I’d be showing my face right now, but I think anonymity will have to do until the end of quarantine. If anything, it’s a motivation to stay home. I think.

Love, Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 3.17.20  
Subject: Re: Uh??? Everything?

We’re actually kind of close? I’m in Philadelphia, so that’s not too far. That’s an odd coincidence. Maybe it was fate????????

How many people from high school do you talk to? I really only talk to Leah, Abby, and occasionally Nick. He’s been weird since he started dating Taylor, though. You don’t need all of this information, I don’t even know if you know them. You definitely know Taylor Metternich, though, with the perfect metabolism and natural tan. I shouldn’t be complaining about one of the nice kids in high school when I’ve put it behind me for the most part.

Have you declared your major yet? I think I’m going into psychology. I haven’t told my mom, she would think I’m trying to follow in her footsteps.

I want to be a school counselor. I think I can be relatable enough for teenagers questioning their sexuality, questioning friendships, and not getting the best grades. I also have a personal connection to psychology, but I would never admit that it’s a factor to my mom. She’d be the way too pleased.

Love, Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 3.18.20  
Subject: Major

No, I haven’t declared my major. My dad is convinced that I want to be an English major, despite the fact that I’ve never shown an interest in it. I think I want to do something with education, though.

I think it would be interesting to be a health teacher. Try to get “abstinence-only” out of the curriculum, but subtly so that no one can come after me. I know that I despised the fact that our teachers refused to tell any of us about safe sex, even if I wasn’t having any sex, safe or otherwise.

A school counselor, huh? I think that could be grand. I wouldn’t choose it, of course. I think I’m a little too screwed up and might end up screwing up other people. But, to be fair, if I mess up as a health teacher, kids get pregnant and get STIs.

Love, Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 3.18.20  
Subject: Re: Major

Our health teachers were the worst! Did you have Mr. Lovelace? He was the epitome of Georgia health teacher, one time he told us that if we couldn’t fit a bible between us, we were being unsafe. Imagine going hot and heavy with someone and they pull out a fucking bible. “Hold on, Mr. Lovelace said I need a bible or I'll go to Hell.”

You’ll be an amazing health teacher. Just make sure to not pull out the bible card. Don’t scar your fifteen-year-olds.

How are your classes going? Have you transitioned to online yet? We’re taking early Spring Break, so we’re not going online until next week. I’m kind of nervous, though, because I have some teachers who aren’t exactly technologically gifted. AKA, the dinosaurs.

Love, Jacques


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely didn’t forget about this fic 😳

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 3.22.20  
Subject: Breakfast

Why don’t you eat breakfast? It’s the most important meal of the day! Is that cliche? Yes. Is it true? Also yes. It gives you the energy to start your day and breaks the fast you’re in while sleeping. It isn’t good to go that long without eating, Blue.

This morning I had scrambled eggs. My roommate loves scrambled eggs so she makes them all the time. It’s a nice thing to wake up to on a Sunday morning, I’ve just got to say.

How many roommates do you have? I was only supposed to have the one, but there was some mixup and I have two. They’re nice, but we had to switch out the couch with a futon. And I have the futon. It’s kind of a mess, but we get a discount on room and board now. A 5% discount, if you were concerned. That 5% is going towards a mansion.

Love, Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 3.22.20  
Subject: Re: Breakfast

I can’t cook. I used to eat cereal, but sophomore year I prioritized sleeping in. Now I’m out of the habit and cereal isn’t enticing enough to pull me back in. Maybe if I had a roommate who cooks me scrambled eggs, but we don’t buy cereal.

My roommate is a character. He wakes up at five to go to the gym and I don’t see him until he comes back at three in the morning. He’s entirely sober every time, so I don’t know what he’s doing that late. Or how he exists on two hours of sleep. Maybe he doesn’t go to class. I don’t even know what classes he’s taking. I’d have to fish out a letter from a stack of papers to give you his last name.

I’m glad you like your roommates. I’d rather have an absent roommate than a bad roommate. At least if he’s not here he’s not bugging me. But he can’t cook eggs for me :(

Love, Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 3.22.20  
Subject: Re: Breakfast

My roommates are always here. Except during class, of course. Lizzy has back to back classes, so she’s gone all day, but Nico and I eat lunch together. Usually mac and cheese or something easy to make, but sometimes we go somewhere. He doesn’t talk much, but not in an awkward way. He just lets me take hold of the conversation and adds his experiences in response. I know about his boyfriend in Boston, his dog in Boston, and his cousins in DC. Oddly enough, they know Abby Suso’s cousins. Small world.

Speaking of Abby Suso (in a more general sense), this anonymity is exhausting. I don’t like that you know who I am. I assume you know Abby Suso. All I know about you is that you are not Cal Price and share a name with a president. That’s not a lot to go off of, Blue.

Love, Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 3.23.20  
Subject: Re: Breakfast

Jacques, are you telling me that one of the first people you met in college is another gay guy? That’s way better than your track record at Creekwood. Or anyone's. That school is full of closeted kids. Wait. I was one of those closeted kids. Forget I said anything.

I do know Abby Suso. She’s very nice. I do not know her cousins, though.

Speaking of Abby Suso (in the same sense you are), I’ve given you a lot more than that. I think that from the beginning I wanted you to know who I was, which kind of bit me in the ass now, but I’ve given you everything you need to know. I just haven’t said my name.

Love, Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 3.23.20  
Subject: Abby Suso

I’m sorry it took a few hours to respond to this. You see, what had happened is that I spent those hours rereading every single email. After I send this I will be looking through my yearbook. I have no clue what you’re talking about, but by God, I will find out. I will know who you are, Blue Green. You don’t have an anonymous last name, so it’ll have to be Green.

Love, Jacques Box


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep telling myself that I'll write this but then I write my novel or practice guitar and now we're here. This fic really is updated once in a blue moon.

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 3.30.20  
Subject: Siblings

As you know, Blue, I reread every single email that you sent me. How is Little Fetus doing? I suppose they're not a fetus anymore, but I don't have a name for them. Is it weird to go from an only child to an older brother? I've been a sibling my entire life and a middle child for as long as I can remember. I don't even remember bringing Nora home, I was two. You were seventeen? Maybe eighteen? I don't know your birthday.

Love, Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 3.30.20  
Subject: Re: Siblings

His name is Caleb. He's a little over a year old now. I still can't believe you read all of our emails, there must be hundreds. I probably gave you everything in the first two, anyway. I only knew it was you right away because I had a crush on you. I actually had a crush on you in freshman year, but I don't need to get into that. That's why you saw Cal Price in every email. If you were someone else I would have never guessed because I was looking for it to be you. You just weren't looking for me.

I hope you know that's not why I didn't show up to the carnival. I didn't care whether or not you liked me. I was scared. I didn't want to be out to anyone in Georgia. I know how close you are with everyone you meet and I got scared. I wanted to be out to only you, but that's not fair to you. So I stayed home with my hand on my phone waiting for you to call.

Love, Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 3.30.20  
Subject: Re: Siblings

So, funny story about why I didn't call. You see, what had happened was that I didn't notice there was anything in the shirt until I put it on. When I was on my way to the carnival. I didn't want to bombard you after the email that I sent, but I still have your number in my phone. I almost texted at the carnival, but I figured that you didn't show up for a reason.

Also, I totally would have kept it a secret. I'm amazing at keeping secrets. I keep secrets I don't even want to keep. But that's not important anymore because we're not in high school. I don't want to date anyone who lives in the same building as me, much less someone an hour and a half away. I'm swamped with school, and I'm sure you are, too. Unless you went somewhere where your natural academia allows you to breeze through.

Love, Jacques


	4. Chapter 4

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 4.1.20  
Subject: Re: Music

I was in choir in middle school and the start of high school but I’m assuming you saw me in the musicals. I’m not the world’s best singer. I’m not bad, but I’m no Elliott Smith.

We should totally start that band. We can mix your rusty seventh-grade trumpet education with my lack of natural talent and perform for an audience of our parents. Seriously, my sisters wouldn’t even come. And Nora’s in a band.

Emoji broke up when Leah, Anna, Garrett, and Taylor graduated so Nora found two girls in her grade and started another band. It’s called Icon and they are spectacular. Her friend Randi plays bass and sings and Randi’s girlfriend, Lila, plays drums. Nora, bless her heart, cannot sing, so Randi is their lead singer. I think Lila’s a decent singer but she refuses to sing in front of an audience.

I’m going to see them play at a bookshop near my parents’ house in a few weeks. All wearing masks and six feet apart, of course, and I’ll be driving instead of taking a plane, but I couldn’t miss her first performance outside of the school talent show.

Randi writes all of their music. She’s a superb songwriter. That’s the one thing that Emoji was missing: original music.

Love, Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 4.2.20  
Subject: Re: Music

We’ll be playing Coachella in no time, Jacques. I can probably still play my B flat concert scale so we’re going to have to write off of that. Open, 1 and 3, 1 and 2, etc. I’ve totally got this.

I’m going to need recordings of Icon. Especially if they have original music. What’s it like? Does Nora like Elliott Smith, too?

Love, Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 4.2.20  
Subject: Re: Music

They’re on YouTube. No, Nora doesn’t like Elliott Smith. I don’t understand it. She doesn’t even have a legitimate reason, she just says that style of music isn’t her thing. She’s the problem child.

Their band is indie rock, I think. Some of their songs are more indie pop, but I think they’re going for indie rock. They’re good, though.

Randi writes all of her songs about Lila. They’re so cute. If I could have the confidence that she does in my junior year I probably would have danced at Homecoming. Or gone to the Homecoming dance. I would have written songs about you, despite my lack of songwriting ability. I would have serenaded the cafeteria in hopes of winning your heart.

Love, Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 4.2.20  
Subject: Re: Music

If you wrote me a song and serenaded me in the cafeteria we would not be anonymously emailing today, I’ve just got to say. I would probably kiss you in front of the entire cafeteria and deal with homophobes for the rest of high school. We really just needed some confidence.

I’ve apologized hundreds of times but I don’t think you truly know how sorry I am that I didn’t go to the carnival. I want to know where we would be today if I had gone. Maybe we would be in a long-distance relationship. Maybe we would have gone through a messy breakup and be completely over. Maybe we would have tried long distance but it didn’t work so you transferred and we live together. I just wish I could see into that universe.

If the multiverse theory is true there is a universe where I went to that carnival. I just wish that were this universe.

Love, Blue


End file.
